Stories of Substance: Body Image Round-Up

September 13, 2012 By in Stories of Substance Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Sorry I’ve been missing in action.  I was celebrating my birthday last weekend! And then I’ve been working a lot.  But here are the latest interesting things I’ve seen online.

Check out Amy Poehler’s body image advice here as part of her Smart Girls at the Party web series.

Do you think the government has the right to tell us what we can eat or drink? The NYC Department of Health recently approved Mayor Bloomberg’s proposal to put a ban on the sale of large sodas and other sugary drinks at restaurants, street carts and movie theaters, enacting the first restriction of its kind in the country. Read about it here.

Reverse airbrushing may be becoming a thing now? There are reports out there that in response to the public’s demand for models that are curvier, fashion magazines are turning to Photoshop to make thin models look bigger. Leading to the obvious question, as to why don’t they just use bigger models?  You can read an interview I did with a plus size model here.

Speaking of airbrushing, crazy story/personal essay on Jezebel about a woman who found her picture in Vogue, only to discover she was missing a hand. Yes, Vogue, airbrushed her hand right off.

Taylor Townsend, top woman tennis player in the world, nearly missed a spot in last week’s U.S. Open because U.S. Tennis Association (USTA) told her they weren’t going to finance her appearance in anymore tournaments until she lost weight/got into better shape. I shit you not. Another crazy example of appearances taking precedence over actual health/fitness.

So who’s watching Project Runway tonight? I’m at work, but it will be waiting for me on my DVR. I’m hoping this is the week they get rid of Ven Budhu, that designer who body-shamed and bullied Terri Herlihy. Like I reported previously, Terri isn’t taking it lying down.  Read more about what’s up with her on her Terri’s Redemption facebook page, including pictures from a Lane Bryant event she modeled at and Terri looking gorgeous at NY Fashion Week.

Project Runway, Ven Budhu, and Terri Herlihy: Body Shaming and Bullying At Its Worst

September 3, 2012 By in Books and Media, Speak Out Against This! Tags: , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

Project Runway is a long-time guilty pleasure of mine. But I was pretty shocked and upset by their recent episode airing the L’Oreal Paris Makeover My Friend Challenge.

In this episode, “real life” non-models were nominated by their friends for makeovers on the show. The Project Runway contestants were each assigned a woman to create an original outfit for.

Fun, right? Not so much for Terri Herlihy, hardworking working mom with three children who had the misfortune to be assigned to Ven Budhu.

Ven Budhu insulted and bullied Terri from the outset. Why? Because she is around a size fourteen. He complained about being arbitrarily assigned to her, actually suggesting that he was being deliberately sabotaged because it was harder to design for a “larger” woman.  He made rude and disparaging remarks about her body and “problem areas.” He said her before photo was a “nightmare.” Notably, Ven is not a small man himself. Which is not to put him down, one would think that maybe he would be able to identify with her.

At one point Ven had Terri in tears. I pictured myself as her. It could have been me. I’m around her size. I was really touched by her friend’s loyal support of her, as she described how selfless Terri was, how little time she takes for herself because she is so busy with work and her family. This was a rare opportunity to get something done for her. Instead, she got abused by an insensitive jerk on national television.

The purpose of this challenge was for designers to show they could work with real-life women of different shapes and sizes, as well as to listen to their clients and meet their wardrobe needs while incorporating their own fashion designer aesthetic. Clearly, Ven wasn’t up to the task. He tried to shift blame her for his failings, saying Terri had no style and a bad attitude. Terri requested pants, which were most conducive to her lifestyle and personal needs. Ven couldn’t manage that, saying his specialty was dresses. Project Runway contestants are supposed to accessorize their models and put together a complete look. Ven Budhu couldn’t be bothered doing that, instead leaving Terri without accessories or even shoes.

The outfit Ven created for Terri was ugly and uninspired. Despite that and his bad behavior, while Ven was in the bottom two, he wasn’t sent home. Viewers are furious. Continue reading →

Tattoos!

August 30, 2012 By in Body Image and Self Esteem Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments

How do you feel about tattoos?  Love them, hate them, don’t care? Should we be judging other people based on their tattoos? Can it be liberating to get one?

No doubt Vivia Chen of the Careerist would have a lot of snarky, negative things to say about professionals with tattoos. I wrote about her penchant for insulting other womens’ appearances here.

Confession: I’ve got one. And I was interviewed over at the cool Rewind Revise blog about it last week. Read the interview (and see a picture of my tattoo) here.

Should Working Women Over 40 Cut Their Hair?

August 27, 2012 By in Fashion and Clothes Tags: , , , , 1 Comment

Listen up, long-haired ladies over 40. If you are looking for a job, or have a job and want to keep it, you best be getting yourselves to the hair salon immediately. Accordingly to a mean-spirited and small-minded article written by Vivia Chen of The Careerist, your messy, untidy hair not only makes you look bad, but is “playing havoc” with your career. And if your hair is blonde to boot, you are “sad and dated” and “trying to rechannel Joni Mitchell in her heyday.” She calls out Hillary Clinton’s hair, which says has been letting her hair grow like “an unruly potted plant” and thus looks “haggard and rumpled.”

Ms. Chen cites an unnamed California entertainment lawyer in support of her view that an older woman’s “mature facial features” don’t jive with “youthful” long hair. She ends by saying that maybe even younger women shouldn’t take the “risk” of having longer hair and having it look messy.

First off, I’m a lawyer in New York. While I was in law school, I worked as a paralegal full-time and went to school at night. I had long hair. Though I saw plenty of women with long hair in the workplace with long hair, when I started interviewing for jobs, I cut mine off. It killed me to do it. And in interviewing and eventually finding a job, I found that plenty of women—old and young —had long hair. I regretted my decision. My hair is a bit longer now, and I’m turning 41 next month (ugh!). It’s also dyed red. I’m sure Ms. Chen would have a field day with that as well. Too bright, too loud. A family member said that to me once, I ignored her unsolicited advice. I’m comfortable with myself and my appearance and no one is going to tell me what I can do with it. Maybe because I am older now, I feel more secure and less inclined to be pushed around.

Obviously, I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to look appropriate in the workplace. But I think there comes a point when you start becoming misogynistic and infringing on a woman’s personal autonomy. Continue reading →

Stories of Substance: Body Image Round-Up

August 16, 2012 By in Stories of Substance Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

In my last post, I wrote about how inadvertently, I hadn’t been looking in the mirror much lately. Interestingly, a PhD student named Kjerstin Gruys  just completed a year-long experiment deliberately avoiding looking in mirrors. She blogged about it here and is being interviewed on 20/20 about it.  
 
A recent study says that while 90% of patients with eating disorders are women, men suffer from binge eating just as often as women. This article on the Huffington Post discusses a new survey about pregnant women and why they hate their bodies.
 
Can feeling fat make you fat? A new study suggests that this self-fulfilling prophecy may be true.
 
Touching and honest essay on The Body Image Project about developing and fighting an eating disorder as a young woman. I developed an eating disorder around the same time and can totally relate. These issues with food and body image can last a lifetime.
 
I met Blondie Blonderson at the BlogHer Conference and couldn’t wait to check out her blog Tales From Clark Street, because she sometimes writes book reviews and I love to ready.  I was really impressed by her recent post called A New Look At My Old Body and highly recommend that you check it out, along with the rest of her blog.

When Your Mirror Sneaks Up And Bites You

August 14, 2012 By in Body Image and Self Esteem Tags: , , , , 1 Comment

I haven’t been looking in the mirror much lately.

Sure, I glance quickly in the morning, primarily to ensure I don’t have any sort of major wardrobe malfunction, and that my under five minute makeup “face” is presentable. I let my hair dry mostly naturally, with maybe five minutes of hair drying if I have time. 

Ages ago, I got contacts that I mean to wear, and instead I take the uninspired way out, automatically slipping my glasses on my face. Even though whenever I wear my contacts, I feel so much better.

I haven’t been weighing myself often either. When I was trying to lose weight,  I was keeping an online food diary, and weighing myself daily. Then I decided I was ok where I was, even if it was higher than what my doctor would have liked (he took the lazy approach of just grabbing the number off a BMI chart). Since then I’ve been going through a rough patch in my life. I binge, then I get back to a better place. My weight has peaked up about 9 pounds, then dropped down to within 3 pounds of my “goal for now.” I weigh myself maybe once a week to see where I’m at. I know some say to throw away your scale entirely. I’m not there yet. But I’m getting better.

My body and overall appearance has been something I haven’t obsessed over, nor have I embraced and taken care of it.  Continue reading →

Stories of Substance: Body Image Round-up (BlogHer Edition!)

August 10, 2012 By in Body Image and Self Esteem Tags: , , , Leave a comment

I have been terribly behind in posting—sorry!! Last week I attended the annual BlogHer Conference here in NYC, which is an annual conference of awesome women bloggers meeting and learning and generally having fun. Even though I didn’t have to travel, I had to make up work and stuff before and after so I’ve been in a bit out of the loop. I learned a lot (and learned how much more I have to learn)! I’m still trying to read the different blogs of everyone I met. For my round-up this week, I’m going to give you the links to some great body image posts from the ladies at BlogHer Voices of the Year winners.

I was touched and made teary by Vikki Reich’s piece called Ministrations on the Up Popped A Fox blog.  As she says herself about the piece:

When I wrote that post in April…I cried. I cried because I still have moments when I am tired of being different, moments when I wish I could blend, moments when I judge myself too harshly. But, I also shed tears because I am so relieved that I have the insight to recognize those moments and dare myself to be braver.

Writing words on a page and reading those words to a roomful of people are very different things.

When I stepped onto the stage to read, I was visible in a way that I have not been since I began blogging. I stood there looking so very queer and read a piece about coming to terms with that.

What does it mean to be pretty and how does our identities depend on labels? Law Mama at Spilled Milk and Other Atrocities wrestles with being pretty, a mother, a wife, and a woman in the poignant post Pretty. Continue reading →

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