Weight Stigma Awareness Week: My Body Is None Of Your Business

The Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA) is holding Weight Stigma Awareness Week. According to BEDA, weight stigma can be:

  • practical (for instance, medical equipment or seats in most public places that are too small to accommodate obese persons);
  • verbal (such as insults, ridicule, teasing, stereotypes, derogatory names or pejorative language); or
  • physical (such as bullying or other aggressive behaviors)

In some cases stigma results in discrimination, such as employment discrimination wherein an obese employee is denied a position or promotion solely or primarily due to esthetic revulsion at his or her appearance, despite the individual being appropriately qualified.

I think this is a really important educational event. Weight stigma is so pervasive and unfortunately a largely socially accepted form of mistreating and abusing the overweight. The message is that the overweight brought their problem upon themselves, so they deserve it. Even the government wants to penalize the overweight. The latest is New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg, who would rather see poor children go hungry than risk them being overweight.

We are barraged with media messages about the “obesity epidemic.”  Everybody’s fat. And getting fatter as we speak. All sorts of silly surveys done about the fattest city, the fattest state. Article after article pondering what the culprits are and what can be done about it. It’s exhausting.

Yet despite the fact that overweight people are so prevalent, they are marginalized, excluded, lives made more difficult. Airlines want to exclude them, or charge them for two seats. You have doctors who refuse to treat overweight people. They are unwilling to assume the “heightened risk.” They are unwilling to purchase appropriate equipment to do so. You can read all about it here and here. Hello, if the obese are supposed to be the unhealthiest, shouldn’t they be the ones most in need of medical care?

Fashion designers don’t want to design for them. Even the plus size clothing designers that do exist are waning, dropping like rows of dominos. Here in Westchester (a suburb of New York City), Lane Bryant and Avenue, two of the biggest women’s clothing manufacturers closed their stores. Then they closed their stores in Manhattan as well. I read an excellent article by author Jen Lancaster about how her Macy’s had ceased carrying plus sizes. Are there suddenly less plus size women out there? Are plus size women supposed to go naked? I don’t think so. Continue reading

Project Runway, Ven Budhu, and Terri Herlihy: Body Shaming and Bullying At Its Worst

Project Runway is a long-time guilty pleasure of mine. But I was pretty shocked and upset by their recent episode airing the L’Oreal Paris Makeover My Friend Challenge.

In this episode, “real life” non-models were nominated by their friends for makeovers on the show. The Project Runway contestants were each assigned a woman to create an original outfit for.

Fun, right? Not so much for Terri Herlihy, hardworking working mom with three children who had the misfortune to be assigned to Ven Budhu.

Ven Budhu insulted and bullied Terri from the outset. Why? Because she is around a size fourteen. He complained about being arbitrarily assigned to her, actually suggesting that he was being deliberately sabotaged because it was harder to design for a “larger” woman.  He made rude and disparaging remarks about her body and “problem areas.” He said her before photo was a “nightmare.” Notably, Ven is not a small man himself. Which is not to put him down, one would think that maybe he would be able to identify with her.

At one point Ven had Terri in tears. I pictured myself as her. It could have been me. I’m around her size. I was really touched by her friend’s loyal support of her, as she described how selfless Terri was, how little time she takes for herself because she is so busy with work and her family. This was a rare opportunity to get something done for her. Instead, she got abused by an insensitive jerk on national television.

The purpose of this challenge was for designers to show they could work with real-life women of different shapes and sizes, as well as to listen to their clients and meet their wardrobe needs while incorporating their own fashion designer aesthetic. Clearly, Ven wasn’t up to the task. He tried to shift blame her for his failings, saying Terri had no style and a bad attitude. Terri requested pants, which were most conducive to her lifestyle and personal needs. Ven couldn’t manage that, saying his specialty was dresses. Project Runway contestants are supposed to accessorize their models and put together a complete look. Ven Budhu couldn’t be bothered doing that, instead leaving Terri without accessories or even shoes.

The outfit Ven created for Terri was ugly and uninspired. Despite that and his bad behavior, while Ven was in the bottom two, he wasn’t sent home. Viewers are furious. Continue reading

The Mean Old Lady In The Elevator

This past week I was riding in an elevator to go to a meeting at a nonprofit I’m going to be doing some volunteer work for. It was an older New York City building, with somewhat smaller than standard elevators. A brunette woman in her earlier thirties got on after me, and then an older woman stood in the front.

The brunette was a large woman, dressed in a t-shirt and black pants. The older woman had long “blonde” hair and was wearing a tweed suit and pearls. His pink pocketbook matched her shoes. She was perhaps in her late seventies—older and thin, but by no means frail. She looked very proper and well-coiffed.

So the elevator reached the brunette’s floor and the doors opened. “Excuse me?” she said to the older woman, who was blocking her path to the door. The older woman didn’t move. The brunette repeated herself.

The older woman grumbled and huffed, then moved over. After the brunette left the elevator, the older woman turned to me and said:

Did you see her? She was so big she could barely fit through the door.

True, the girl was large. At one time I was probably close to her size. I’m not exactly petite myself now. But she wasn’t anywhere near having to stand sideways and grease herself up to be able to shimmy and squeeze through the doors.

I said nothing. I looked at that mean old lady with what I’m sure was shock and disgust, and then stared straight ahead. We both got off at the same floor. Thankfully, she wasn’t going to the same place I was.

Since then, I’ve been thinking about what happened. It’s been eating at me a bit. Continue reading

Get Involved With The Keep It Real Challenge

 

Did you know that 80% of ten year old girls report having been on a diet? That’s right, ten years old. MissRepresentation.org and some other girls’/women’s organizations have started a Keep It Real 3-day challenge for the public to push magazines to take responsibility for the influence they have on female body image. Read about it here.  

Get involved! See this toolkit to get started. They are asking magazines to show one unphotoshopped model image per issue. Just one. That seems reasonable, right?

Day One (June 27th) is a Twitter campaign to the editors of these major magazines asking them to “keep it real.” You can find the Twitter addresses to send your appeal to in the toolkit. Day Two (June 28th) is a blog campaign where we can all write about how we’ve personally been affected by photoshopped images, then tweet and post our links to the magazines’ Twitter accounts and Facebook walls. Finally, on Day Three (June 29th), you can submit photos of what “real beauty” looks like. The best photos will be selected to be on a billboard in New York City!

You can check out their Facebook page here too. I’m so excited about all of great work these organizations are doing!

Don’t Be Fooled: Skinny Gossip Is A Thinly Disguised Pro-Anorexia Site

I received a troubling new “comment” on my article about pro-anorexia blogs. In the article, I mentioned, among others, a blog called Skinny Gossip.

Here is what the commenter (Lisa) had to say:

Skinnygossip isn’t a pro ana site, it’s a pro skinny site. The owner of SkinnyGossip doesn’t encourage mental illness and there is a support group for girls who suffered from eating disorders on the Skinnygossip forums. Some of the “starving tips” may seem dumb but they don’t encourage you to harm yourself in any way, the term is just used to get more attention. SkinnyGossip is more about fashion and models then it is about losing weight.

Really? I thought to myself, taking another look at the site. And yes, Skinny Gossip was just as I remembered. It’s the classic case study of a pro-ana blog and demonstrates all the insidious ways such sites operate.

Pro-anorexia (pro-ana), pro-bulimia (pro-mia), and pro-eating disorder (pro-ed) blogs are “how to” guides encouraging and promoting eating disorders. I’m going to refer to them jointly as pro-ana blogs. According to the National Eating Disorders Association’s (NEDA’s) Media Guidelines For Responsible Coverage of Pro-Anorexia/Pro-Bulimia/Thinspiration:

Pro-ana/pro-mia/thinspo refers to web content that intentionally encourage or glorify dangerous behaviors characteristic of those who struggle with the eating disorders Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa, which can be life-threatening.

The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD) notes:

On these sites, users are instructed and motivated to lose weight to be part of an “elite,” though hazardous, online community. Some initially appear friendly and benign. However, they can pose a serious threat to some individuals, not simply because they promote eating disorder behaviors, but because they build a sense of community that is unhealthy. They lure the impressionable and persuade them that the Pro-Ana community is providing caring and nurturing advice.

That’s perhaps the most dangerous part. These websites aren’t necessarily going to come out and say I’m going to teach how to have an eating disorder, even though it’s bad for you. Some are overt, unapologetic and defend the “lifestyle.” Others, however, are more subtle and sinister. According to ANAD:

It’s also increasingly more difficult to detect Pro-Ana sites. Many are disguised as positive sites where people help each other lose weight together. They come together under the banner of “thinspiration,”dispensing tips and tricks to lose weight. Some begin innocently enough but quickly descend into full-fledged Pro-Ana. In June 2010, researchers from Johns Hopkins studied the content of 180 sites they discovered while searching for terms like “Pro-Anorexia” and “thin and support.” 83% of the sites they viewed contained suggestions for engaging in eating disorder behaviors. A minority provided information on recovery, but also encouraged eating disorder behaviors. Contradicting information like this may influence innocent and impressionable site users, like children, adolescents and those who already feel isolated.

ANAD provides a list of the key characteristics of pro-ana blogs. Let’s take a look at some of these and see how Skinny Gossip measures up: Continue reading

Food Talk: Stop Commenting On What I’m Having For Lunch (And For The Record, I’m Not That Interested In What You’re Having)

It sometimes starts first thing in the morning. One of my co-workers unveils the egg sandwich she purchased at a local deli, unwrapping it like a much-anticipated Christmas present.

“That looks good,” another co-worker comments, looking it over.

The first co-worker lists the contents of her sandwich. Cheese, bacon, whatever. I don’t remember, it doesn’t matter. In-depth discussion ensues about eggs and who likes them. More co-workers chime in. All the different ways eggs can be made are analyzed and mulled-over. Omelets, hard-boiled, scrambled, over-easy. Which of these ways everyone likes their eggs.

A little bit later, it’s time to start talking about what everyone is having about lunch. The conversation gets earlier everyday. Lunch options. Who makes the best burger. Who likes barbeque and how they like their barbeque. What someone would like to get, but it’s so many calories.

Then it’s lunchtime-the main event. Everyone’s lunch choices are scrutinized and discussed. “How is it? Is it good?” one woman makes her rounds, asking everyone about their food, as invested as if she’d cooked it all herself.

Another talks and talks about how much food she got. Then she goes from co-worker to co-worker, trying to pawn off some of her French fries. She can’t possibly eat them all. She decides to save them for later. A little while later, she speculates on how good they’ll be reheated.

These women are driving me crazy. Please stop looking over my lunch, I want to tell them. And really? I don’t care what you’re having. Can you find something other than food to talk about? I, like others, have issues with food. And all of this talk can be very triggering.

Not all offices are this bad, I realize. I’m temping right now, and different offices act differently. This is the worst I’ve ever seen it. But in a lot of places I’ve worked (and I’ve worked in a lot of places), so much conversation seems to revolve around food.  What we’re eating. What we should and shouldn’t be eating. Stuck at work, you become a captive audience, even an unwilling participant.

I get why people do it. I’ve been guilty of it myself. Part of it can be a social thing, like when everyone is ordering in together. I think another part of it—a big part—is boredom. We are working longer hours, lunch and food generally break up the day. It gives us something to look forward to. Continue reading

The State of Georgia is Bullying Overweight Children

Yes, you read that right.  Under the auspices of its Stop Childhood Obesity Campaign, the State of Georgia has come out with billboards, videos and television spots of overweight children, with cruel and humiliating messages designed to shame and stigmatize children in an effort to get them to lose weight.

Would you want your child viewing these billboards and the messages they encompass?

My heart is breaking for this girl.  How about this one?

And finally, this one:

OK, I’m done. You get the drift. There’s all sorts of them with pithy little messages like “Chubby Kids May Not Outlive Their Parents,” and “Big Bones Didn’t Make Me This Way. Big Meals Did.”

Not only are these ads and videos fat-shaming, but they provide little in the way of inspiration or guidance. Instead they rely on negativity and shock value. It has been studied and shown that stigmatizing people has little effect in getting them to change their behaviors. Likewise, ads like this increasing the prevalence of bullying. Continue reading

Do Plus Size Women Really Need Their Own Dating Website? America’s Next Top Model Winner Whitney Thompson Says Yes. I Beg to Differ.

Plus size model and 2008 winner of “America’s Next Top Model” Whitney Thompson says she had too many problems dating online. When she told guys she was a plus size model, they were turned off by what they imagined her size to be and didn’t want to date her. When she said she was a model, they’d be disappointed she wasn’t thinner when they saw her in person. Her solution? A new online dating website she started called “The Big and the Beautiful,” which is geared towards plus size women and the men that want to date them. Call me skeptical.

Challenges of Online Dating for the Larger Girl. I did a lot of online dating before I met my husband Ted on Match.com. I can see Whitney’s point about the challenges of dating online. I remember clicking through profile after profile and becoming frustrated that men didn’t click off “curvy” or “a few extra pounds” as types of women they’d be willing to date. Their loss, I’d grumble, as I continued to scroll and click. You also post pictures which put a face to the profile. I had several (recent) pictures posted (face and body).  Still, I had a few guys who asked me for even more (full body shots, in particular). I got the impression they wanted a few more “views” of me before deciding whether my size was palatable to them. I decided that if they were that superficial, I couldn’t be bothered. There are great men out there, who sometimes seem well hidden. You just have to be willing to bide your time and not take any crap. I don’t know what types of pictures Whitney posted when she was online. If you look at any of her pictures, she’s gorgeous. On the flip side, I met less-than-honest guys who looked nothing like their own pictures. It’s all part of the fun and excitement of online dating.

Should Plus Size Women Be Hiding Out in Cyberspace? But Whitney’s website ignores the much larger issue that there are guys out there who are interested in the woman herself, and don’t limit themselves to women of a certain body type. Which is a lot healthier, and the type of guy we should be looking for. Body type isn’t and shouldn’t be their first and foremost criteria. Love and compatibility is a lot more complex than that. Which should be obvious. I don’t think you are going to find those types of less rigid men joining The Big and Beautiful. The website objectifies women, implying that their most important “date-ability” factor is their body shape and size. In a way her website is saying to come and hide out on it, because you aren’t going to get anywhere on the mainstream dating sites. I personally would resent being marginalized in such an insular community. By participating on such sites, we are condoning bad behavior.

A Chubby Chasers’ Playground? I know Whitney has done other things to promote positive women’s body images and health. But here I think she gets it wrong. You are going to get men on this website who either: a) fetishize larger women; or b) think the women have low self esteem and fewer prospects—thus, making them easier “marks.” Continue reading

Body Mass Index (BMI): Where It Came From and What It’s Good For

The body mass index (BMI) has become the most-used means of determining whether we are overweight or not, supposedly by measuring our body fat. Plug your height and weight into a BMI calculator and you’ll get a quick and dirty “definitive” answer. But where did BMI come from and how useful is it really?

BMI was invented in the 1800’s by a Belgian polymath named Adolphe Quetelet. It’s a mathematical calculation dividing a person’s weight by the square of his/her height. He was doing social research on what the “average man” looked like. His research had nothing to do with health. He was researching a lot of things, like a man’s arm strength or the age he marries.

The “pioneers” studying and pushing BMI for profit? Insurance companies. In the early 1900’s, motivated by their bottom line, life insurance companies started doing studies of BMI to show overweight people were more likely to have health problems and die earlier to show their policy holders.

In 1972 a professor and researcher named Ancel Keys published his paper “Indices of Relative Weight and Obesity.” He examined height-weight formulas and determined Quetelet’s was the best. Keys gave Quetelet’s formula the name “body mass index.”

BMI caught on. Instead of being used as studies of population health, doctors began using it as a quick way to measure body fat. But Keys had actually warned in his paper against using BMI for individuals diagnoses, since the equations ignores a lot of other variables, like exercise and ailments like high blood pressure. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) notes that BMI is only one factor to consider in determining weight problems:

BMI is used as a screening tool to identify possible weight problems for adults. However, BMI is not a diagnostic tool. For example, a person may have a high BMI. However, to determine if excess weight is a health risk, a healthcare provider would need to perform further assessments. These assessments might include skinfold thickness measurements, evaluations of diet, physical activity, family history, and other appropriate health screenings. Continue reading

Should Parents Lose Custody of Obese Children?

It’s things like this that sometimes make me ashamed to be a lawyer. Seriously. There’s been a lot of media talk lately about how parents are using their childrens’ obesity (and blaming their spouse for causing it) as leverage in custody battles.

But let me backpedal a bit first. Earlier in the year, the issue was whether parents should lose custody of their extremely obese children, who would be put into foster care. This issue was raised in an opinion piece in the Journal of the American Medical Association, written by Dr. David Ludwig, an obesity specialist at Children’s Hospital Boston.  Ludwig claims that the point isn’t to blame, but to act in the child’s best interest and provide help parents can’t provide. He states that the goal is to reunite the family and perhaps provide parenting instruction.

Ludwig focuses on a few “extreme” examples in which authorities should intervene. Scary stories like a three year old girl who weighed ninety pounds and reached 400 pounds by the age of twelve. A fourteen year old boy who weighed 555 pounds. Sensationalism calculated to put fear in peoples’ hearts as a means of breathing air into his argument.

He believes existing child protection laws are enough to carry out his recommendations. Children welfare agencies and foster care are already overburdened and children aren’t getting the protection they need. Do we really want to make matters worse? Continue reading

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