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Stories of Substance: Body Image Round-Up

June 17, 2012 By in Stories of Substance Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

This story both angers me and breaks my heart—a father in Ottawa may lose custody of his kids because of his weight. And this is after he lost 150 lbs. With all of these lousy, screwed up parents out there (both moms and dads), it horrifies me that this is what they are fixating on. Screwed up priorities.

According to the American Bar Association Journal, gaining weight is a hazard of those in the legal profession. It’s all the long hours, plus sitting all the time, and stress-related eating. I hear them. Welcome to my world-it’s an ongoing struggle. Anyone working long hours in stressful environments can relate. People like to say weight gain is caused by laziness, but they forget it can be caused by overwork, among a multitude of other things. Don’t be so quick to judge.

Are you overtired? Yawning and drinking a lot of coffee during the day? Some brilliant scientists came out with this study concluding that it’s your own fault. If you weren’t so damn fat and depressed, you’d be more alert and bright-eyed. Yeah right. Maybe the scientists need to spend some time in the law offices the ABA mentioned.

It was Full Figured Fashion Week this week here in New York City. Such an important and wonderful event. I’m working like crazy so I couldn’t make it unfortunately. Last year I had a great time. Hope everyone who went enjoyed themselves!

Eating disorders aren’t just for the young. New research shows that eating disorders in older women is on the rise.

Read anything interesting lately? Feel free to share.

Don’t Be Fooled: Skinny Gossip Is A Thinly Disguised Pro-Anorexia Site

June 10, 2012 By in Eating Disorders, Speak Out Against This! Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 14 Comments

I received a troubling new “comment” on my article about pro-anorexia blogs. In the article, I mentioned, among others, a blog called Skinny Gossip.

Here is what the commenter (Lisa) had to say:

Skinnygossip isn’t a pro ana site, it’s a pro skinny site. The owner of SkinnyGossip doesn’t encourage mental illness and there is a support group for girls who suffered from eating disorders on the Skinnygossip forums. Some of the “starving tips” may seem dumb but they don’t encourage you to harm yourself in any way, the term is just used to get more attention. SkinnyGossip is more about fashion and models then it is about losing weight.

Really? I thought to myself, taking another look at the site. And yes, Skinny Gossip was just as I remembered. It’s the classic case study of a pro-ana blog and demonstrates all the insidious ways such sites operate.

Pro-anorexia (pro-ana), pro-bulimia (pro-mia), and pro-eating disorder (pro-ed) blogs are “how to” guides encouraging and promoting eating disorders. I’m going to refer to them jointly as pro-ana blogs. According to the National Eating Disorders Association’s (NEDA’s) Media Guidelines For Responsible Coverage of Pro-Anorexia/Pro-Bulimia/Thinspiration:

Pro-ana/pro-mia/thinspo refers to web content that intentionally encourage or glorify dangerous behaviors characteristic of those who struggle with the eating disorders Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa, which can be life-threatening.

The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD) notes:

On these sites, users are instructed and motivated to lose weight to be part of an “elite,” though hazardous, online community. Some initially appear friendly and benign. However, they can pose a serious threat to some individuals, not simply because they promote eating disorder behaviors, but because they build a sense of community that is unhealthy. They lure the impressionable and persuade them that the Pro-Ana community is providing caring and nurturing advice.

That’s perhaps the most dangerous part. These websites aren’t necessarily going to come out and say I’m going to teach how to have an eating disorder, even though it’s bad for you. Some are overt, unapologetic and defend the “lifestyle.” Others, however, are more subtle and sinister. According to ANAD:

It’s also increasingly more difficult to detect Pro-Ana sites. Many are disguised as positive sites where people help each other lose weight together. They come together under the banner of “thinspiration,”dispensing tips and tricks to lose weight. Some begin innocently enough but quickly descend into full-fledged Pro-Ana. In June 2010, researchers from Johns Hopkins studied the content of 180 sites they discovered while searching for terms like “Pro-Anorexia” and “thin and support.” 83% of the sites they viewed contained suggestions for engaging in eating disorder behaviors. A minority provided information on recovery, but also encouraged eating disorder behaviors. Contradicting information like this may influence innocent and impressionable site users, like children, adolescents and those who already feel isolated.

ANAD provides a list of the key characteristics of pro-ana blogs. Let’s take a look at some of these and see how Skinny Gossip measures up: Continue reading →

Stories of Substance: Body Image Round-Up

June 3, 2012 By in Stories of Substance Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

The latest news/blog posts in the body image arena:

Importance of Self Care. Feeling like you aren’t getting your needs met or you’ve been putting yourself last? This great blog post by Anna Guest-Jelley of Curvy Yoga tells you how to give yourself a “permission slip” to take care of yourself.

Jerk of the Week. Apparently Comedy Central’s Tosh.O blogger Mike Pomerantz is stealing copyrighted images in order to make fat jokes. Yes, he stole a picture from the Adipositivity Project, which is a photography project showing the aesthetic beauty of large women, and posted in on his Comedy Central blog for a caption contest and a few laughs. Disgusting. Read about it here on Jezebel and read one Adipositivity participant’s reaction here on xoJane.

Good Reminder for Us All. Adore this post on Already Pretty about why body image matters.

Learn The Rules, Then Break Them! Tired of feeling like you have to dress for your body type? All of the rules can be so limiting! Check out You Look Fab’s article on Beyond Body Type Dressing Rules

Speak Out Against This! Smart article by Ragen Chastain on her Dances With Fat blog about Kenlie Tiggeman’s lawsuit against Southwest Airlines for telling her she was “too fat to fly.” You can also read about current airline policies and travel tips here. Airbus will be offering new and improved wider seats, which is a good start. We all need to fly. You’d think with all the media hype about the “obesity epidemic” more airlines would d be looking into accommodating rather than discriminating against passengers based on their size.

Inspiration! Been bathing suit shopping yet this year? Push your boundaries! This inspiring photo “fatkini” gallery by Gabi Fresh shows “31 unapologetic fat girls in bikinis.” I love seeing these “unconventional beauties” show how hot we can all look!

Are You “Confident Enough” To Promote Positive Body Image?

May 30, 2012 By in Body Image and Self Esteem, Friends, Family and Romance Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

I did a guest blog post for Girlfriendology last week about the ways we can help our friends improve their body image. Because friends don’t let friends hate their bodies! You can check out the article here. There’s lots of good ideas there. Go forth and read it and come back. I’ll wait.

One question that arose out of the article was “how can I help my friend if I’m not loving my body myself?” And “who am I to promote positive body image when my own self-esteem isn’t where I’d like it to be?”

These questions make sense. We all look for inspiration. Someone stronger and more secure than us that we can look up and aspire towards. Role models. Leaders.

I’ve wondered about this myself. Because while I’ve been complimented on the “work” I do to promote positive body image, I’m not entirely secure myself. I have times when I’m strong and confident and feel like I can kick the world’s collective ass. Figuratively speaking. Bring it on, I think to myself. Then again, on occasion I look in the mirror and am unable to stop myself from cringing.  Am I a fraud? I think to myself. Am I a hypocrite?

I don’t think so. Because I keep working hard and pushing my way through the bouts of insecurity and faltering self-love. All we can all do is try our best. Be honest and not give up. Try to say and do something that will mean something to ourselves and the people around us.

When you think about it, what’s the alternative? Wait until we feel like we have it completely together? Put off speaking out and working towards a good cause?  How do we know when we are “confident enough”?

To me, waiting until we feel like we have our brains perfectly straight is eerily analogous to waiting to accept ourselves until we lose those last ten pounds, or get into those pair of jeans we have tucked away. It’s not realizing our worth NOW.

You can make a difference to someone else’s self-esteem. You can speak out against negative messages hampering women’s positive body image. You have a voice. Use it. Don’t wait until you feel you’ve “earned” the right to speak. You have something to say. Demand to be heard.

There are so people that are just awesome, that make me want to be more . At the same time, their greatness doesn’t make me worth less. When you see someone you admire, try to learn from them. But at the same time, try to find in the leader in yourself.

Empowering yourself will not only help those around you, but will help you to appreciate yourself. Be there for your girlfriends. Be there for yourself. You’re “enough” already.

Stories of Substance: Body Image Round-Up

May 18, 2012 By in Body Image and Self Esteem, Stories of Substance Tags: , , , , , , 1 Comment

Love this post on Nourishing the Soul about aging gracefully, not getting so hung up on what your life was “supposed to be,” appreciating your life, and dreaming big for the future.

Beauty Redefined has great insights on why fitspiration isn’t so inspirational.

Jezebel gets it right on  why being mean to fat people is pointless and asking why kindness is becoming obsolete.

Are toy manufacturers “sexifying” girls’ toys? See the evidence on Adios Barbie here.

A must read. I’ve written one post and interviewed a plus size model about the use of models that look like the average consumer. Some have argued that we don’t really want to see models that look like us. But in Elle Canada, there’s an article about a new study out that debunks what some clothing retailers and designers have been claiming  And yes, race and age matter too us too.

Does the world really need a bikini hockey league? Fit and Feminist intelligently and rightfully rants here.

Just Say No To “Skinny Minny” Speed Dating

May 13, 2012 By in Friends, Family and Romance Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

So apparently Skinny Minny Speed Dating is a “thing” now. You can check out the dating site here. Here’s how they describe this novel way to meet your soul-mate:

We all have relationship ‘deal-breakers’, and that does not make us shallow, we’re just single New Yorkers that know what we want and are attracted to. Obviously there is more to it than just height or size, but for many of us that initial “attraction” factor is at least a starting point.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the average clothing size for adult women in the United States is a 14, making our upcoming ”Skinny Minny” night for svelte women size 0-8 anything but average. Guys, no need to worry about meeting a biggie-size chick “down-sizing” to an 8 like when you’re dating on-line. We’ll be checking labels at the door!

Not only do they check clothing labels at the door, but women have to wear their clothing size on their lapel all night. When OnSpeedingDating.com was contacted for comment, they explained they’re equal-opportunity shallow:

Co-founder, Amber Soletti, told MailOnline about the strict door policy for the ‘Skinny Minny’ event: ‘If [we get] any flack from women we explain that “fair is fair” and that our “Size Matters” Speed Dating event for women who want to date men 6’1″+ that we measure the men and confirm they are all tall enough to participate as well.’

Well, knowing they treat men like objects too makes me feel so much better. Maybe penis size will be next. Oh wait, they are planning an event for “hung” gay men, who are 7 inches +. I’m not sure how they are making sure the men are accurately representing themselves. Let’s take a moment to reflect on that one…. Continue reading →

Stories of Substance: Body Image Round-Up

May 8, 2012 By in Body Image and Self Esteem Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Good news! Conde Nast International issued a statement this week that no edition of Vogue (it has 19 editions worldwide) will work with models under 16 or who appear to have an eating disorder. Let’s hope this sends a message to the fashion industry. Read more here.

The newest body image activist? Kudos to Julia Bluhm, age 14 (no that’s not a typo) who organized an online petition  asking Seventeen Magazine to publish one un-photoshopped spread per month. At the time I signed the petition, nearly 46,000 people had already signed it. While Seventeen Magazine has agreed to meet the eighth grader (who even protested outside of Seventeen’s offices!), they haven’t agreed to the petition’s demands. Read more about it here. Julia is active with the SPARK Movement, which was organized to challenge sexualization of girls and women in the media and help girls develop healthy sexuality and self esteem. Imagine what we could do if we all speak out the way this teen is doing!

Is Victoria’s Secret’s advertising objectifying and dis-empowering women? We need to be conscious consumers. Very interesting research and paper done by Lexie Kite of Beauty Redefined here.

Do you come across pictures or stories in newspapers, magazines or television and shake your head? Alternatively, do you want to be able to speak out and let advertisers know when they are getting it right? A new iTunes application coming out called Body Image Voice lets you write about and rate images you see in the media and advertising. Personally, I can’t wait to check it out! Read more here .

I love finding new blogs to read! Fighting Anorexia is a wonderful, inspirational blog about recovering/staying recovered from eating disorders. Check out this wonderful post about reasons to fight for recovery here.

The Best Compliment You Can Give

May 2, 2012 By in Body Image and Self Esteem, Weight Loss and Weight Loss Surgery Tags: , , , 4 Comments

Pay attention to the types of compliments you hear people give each other during the day. How many of them are based on appearance?  Like “I love your hair” and “Is that a new skirt?” and “You look so skinny!”

The first time I lost weight, I got a lot of compliments. I got them from people I barely knew, barely spoke to. A distant co-worker from another department. The elderly crossing guard I pass by on my daily walk to train every day even pulled me aside. It seemed like everyone was invested in how good I looked. I felt good, walked taller. Felt more confident, more beautiful. At the same time, I felt conspicuous, self-conscious, a little embarrassed. My body felt exposed, on display.

It made me nervous too. My new body was a precarious thing. I didn’t feel like it belonged to me entirely. It didn’t feel real. Then when I gained back the weight back, I wanted to hide. I felt ashamed, like I’d let people down. Like I was a fraud, a failure.

The second time I lost the weight, I wanted to do it in secret. I wore baggy clothes in bigger sizes for as long as I could. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate the compliments. I wasn’t sure if I could do it, and I didn’t want my “failure” to be one for public consumption. Then I became emboldened and embraced it. The rush of compliments came. But people got used to my weight loss and the compliments stopped. I had some personal problems, I didn’t feel good about myself. I did a lot of emotional eating. I went out drinking a lot. The weight came back.

Now I’m trying to find a place that’s realistic. I’m focused on my health. I had knee problems and I had trouble walking. I wrote about it here. I care about how look, but more about how I feel. I’m 40 now. The last time I lost the weight I was doing it for appearances sake, to meet a guy. I was 30. Now I have a great husband who loves me regardless of my size. That helps a lot.

I’m working myself from the inside out. I’m trying to feel good about myself in ways that have nothing to do with my weight. I’m trying to make myself believe that no matter where I wind up this time, body-wise, that I like myself for reasons that having nothing to do with my reflection in the mirror. Continue reading →

Stories of Substance: Body Image Round-Up

April 28, 2012 By in Stories of Substance Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

So many interesting articles and blog posts out there on the web this week!

Is fitspiration actually thinspiration in disguise? Virginia Sole-Smith discusses the dangers of compulsive exercise, false assumptions about what is true health, and distinguishing between inspiration and judgment when looking at other peoples’ bodies here.

Adored this post on Stop Chasing about cycling, bellies, deciding how much exercise is enough, and nurturing yourself.

Super excited to find Elizabeth Patch’s More to Love Blog, which contains inspiring articles and her beautiful artwork of real women. Check out her post on cleaning out her closet along with negative body image thoughts here.

Interesting study by my undergraduate alma mater, Rutgers University, about how weight stigma can actually harm your physical health. Read about it here.

Are there places you find to be body-friendly zones? Love Sally McGraw’s article on The Frisky on finding body acceptance in a tattoo parlor here.

Read anything good about body image lately? Be sure to let me know!

Food Talk: Stop Commenting On What I’m Having For Lunch (And For The Record, I’m Not That Interested In What You’re Having)

April 25, 2012 By in Speak Out Against This! Tags: , , , , 2 Comments

It sometimes starts first thing in the morning. One of my co-workers unveils the egg sandwich she purchased at a local deli, unwrapping it like a much-anticipated Christmas present.

“That looks good,” another co-worker comments, looking it over.

The first co-worker lists the contents of her sandwich. Cheese, bacon, whatever. I don’t remember, it doesn’t matter. In-depth discussion ensues about eggs and who likes them. More co-workers chime in. All the different ways eggs can be made are analyzed and mulled-over. Omelets, hard-boiled, scrambled, over-easy. Which of these ways everyone likes their eggs.

A little bit later, it’s time to start talking about what everyone is having about lunch. The conversation gets earlier everyday. Lunch options. Who makes the best burger. Who likes barbeque and how they like their barbeque. What someone would like to get, but it’s so many calories.

Then it’s lunchtime-the main event. Everyone’s lunch choices are scrutinized and discussed. “How is it? Is it good?” one woman makes her rounds, asking everyone about their food, as invested as if she’d cooked it all herself.

Another talks and talks about how much food she got. Then she goes from co-worker to co-worker, trying to pawn off some of her French fries. She can’t possibly eat them all. She decides to save them for later. A little while later, she speculates on how good they’ll be reheated.

These women are driving me crazy. Please stop looking over my lunch, I want to tell them. And really? I don’t care what you’re having. Can you find something other than food to talk about? I, like others, have issues with food. And all of this talk can be very triggering.

Not all offices are this bad, I realize. I’m temping right now, and different offices act differently. This is the worst I’ve ever seen it. But in a lot of places I’ve worked (and I’ve worked in a lot of places), so much conversation seems to revolve around food.  What we’re eating. What we should and shouldn’t be eating. Stuck at work, you become a captive audience, even an unwilling participant.

I get why people do it. I’ve been guilty of it myself. Part of it can be a social thing, like when everyone is ordering in together. I think another part of it—a big part—is boredom. We are working longer hours, lunch and food generally break up the day. It gives us something to look forward to. Continue reading →

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