Same Girl With New Jeans, Feeling Good

This past weekend, I was thinking about my weight loss (up to 95 or so pounds) since the summer of 2010. I went shopping and bought jeans a size or two smaller than the ones I’d been wearing. I also picked up my engagement and wedding rings, which I’d had resized. Both rings had become loose on my finger and I was using ring guards, one of which broke a few weeks ago. So I finally decided to take the plunge, as the jeweler told me I was down two ring sizes. I was nervous because it felt so permanent. And these are my engagement and wedding rings, after all. I made a point of asking her whether my rings would be able to be resized if they got too tight again. She reassured me they could.

My weight loss was also on my mind because I went to the doctor for a physical a couple of weeks ago. He went over the results of my blood test with me line by line. Blood pressure-perfect. No more medication for me. Cholesterol-perfect. Lipos, good fats, bad fats, things he explained to me but I don’t remember what they were, all good. I should be taking Vitamin D. I can do that. I felt like I was receiving a perfect report card.

I can feel the changes. I have more energy. I can walk quickly up stairs without getting winded. I can zip down New York City streets, weaving around people to get to my destination quicker. I fit into train seats and restaurant booths without it being tight. I can sit Indian-style comfortably on the floor.

I write on this blog about body image and loving yourself no matter what size you are. In a way sometimes I’ve worried if my words were consistent with my weight loss efforts and taking joy in my newly found body and health. In part, I felt almost afraid to get excited. What if it doesn’t stick? If I regain weight, I still want to love and accept myself. Because I was worthy of love and acceptance before. For that reason, I felt guilty about feeling a twinge of excitement when looking at the scale, trying on my newly sized rings and new jeans. Looking at myself in the full length fitting room mirror and realizing I look thinner than I pictured myself. Continue reading

Body Dysmorphic Disorder: Stop Dwelling on Your Non-Existent “Flaws”

I found a name to a disorder today that affects many women with body image issues. It’s called body dysmorphic disorder. Body dysmorphic disorder is a condition where you can’t stop thinking about a minor or imagined “flaw” in your appearance. You obsess over it, staring at yourself in the mirror. You might seek out things to correct it, like cosmetic surgery, but are never satisfied with the results. You stare at it in the mirror, or imagine that everyone else is looking at your “flaw” and you negatively as a result. Because you are self-conscious, you may not want your picture taken and constantly ask other people for reassurance about your appearance.  This “imagined ugliness” can cripple you and affect your ability to function.

Body dysmorphic disorder includes a lot of different things. Maybe you think your nose is too big. Or one of your breasts is larger than the other. Some women hate their hair—it’s too straight, too curly, or too frizzy. Women study their wrinkles or “too small” lips in the mirror. People with body dysmorphic disorder can’t pass a mirror without checking themselves and the body part that they are concerned about. They might even avoid social situations, too embarrassed to be seen.

Sound familiar? It’s so easy to get caught up in something without looking at the larger picture. We women can be so critical of ourselves and waste energy we could be using more happily and productively. Continue reading

Can Fat People Get Dates? New Study Calculates Their Chances.

How much of a role does weight play in men and women choosing their potential mate? If you are worried about how your weight affects your chances at attracting someone, there’s a crazy new study available to help you calculate your chances.

It’s good to see scholars are putting their education and intellect to such worthwhile and well-reasoned pursuits. Columbia University researcher and economist Pierre-Andre Chiappori recently came out with a study titled “Fatter Attraction: Anthropometric and Socioeconomic Matching on the Marriage Market.” In this study, he has created an actual mathematical formula measuring how important weight is, and what heavier men and women need to do to compensate for those extra pounds.

How does this balancing act work? Men’s “worth” is dependent on a sliding scale considering weight and earnings. According to Chiappori, women will overlook men’s extra girth if they make more money.

Chiappori measures a man’s BMI up against his salary. For every 10 percent increase in a man’s BMI, he must increase his salary by 2 percent to compete in the same dating pool.

No raise on the horizon? A man best be hitting the gym if he wants to score the type of women he’s accustomed to. Of course, hitting the gym may result in him shedding fat and gaining muscle, which weighs more than fat. His BMI will then go up and he’s shot himself in the foot. Does Chiappori take stock options into consideration? With the flagging real estate market, should men be taking a few extra laps around the track? Continue reading

Yes, I’m Really Defending Chris Christie

I don’t like New Jersey governor Chris Christie or his politics and didn’t ever expect to find myself in the position of defending him. However, I was offended by a number of articles I read recently that said he should not run for president. Their reason? Because of his weight.

According to Eugene Robinson, opinion writer for the Washington Post, “Christie’s problem with weight ceased being a private matter when he stepped into the public arena.” Robinson cites all sorts of statistics on the “obesity epidemic” sweeping the United States and the burden it’s putting on us all. Robinson calls into question Christie’s ability to govern, suggesting his weight is a moral impediment to leadership, saying that

[Christie] prides himself on bullheaded determination and speaks often about the need for officials to display leadership. Well, Gov. Christie, lead thyself.

Michael Kinsley of Bloomberg.com is even worse, stating bluntly that Christie can’t be president because “he is too fat.” He claims that Christie’s weight is a personal defect even more important than his ability to govern because

a presidential candidate should be judged on behavior and character, not just on policies — especially because the chance these days of any actual policies being enacted is slim.

Terrific. In other words, since politicians are completely ineffectual, they should at least look good on television.

While Kinsley on the one hand states the “obesity epidemic is real,” on the other he claims that

Christie shouldn’t appeal to the public at large because claiming that being seriously overweight establishes some kind of bond with ordinary folks is a bit of an insult to ordinary folks, most of whom are not obese.

So which is it?  Are we all fat and looking for a leader who looks like us? Or is Christie an aberration from the general public that should be shunned and rejected? Most of all, why is the “fat” versus the “thin” even an issue rather than the political?

It’s frightening to me that this is an issue. And that people seem so divided on it. On Crain’s New York’s Business website, a survey was presented to the public at large. At the time, I’m writing this, 57% (285 votes) of the voters believe that Christie’s weight should not be considered an impediment to running for office. The remaining 43% (215) votes are too close for comfort.

This discriminatory mindset trickles downward. I once had a family member tell me I should lose weight because prospective employers would look at me and not want to hire me. The comment still hurts. Of course, some of the weight (admittedly not all) was due to the long, sedentary hours I was working. Which is not meant as an excuse, but an argument against the fact that the overweight are lazy, unmotivated and generally not worthy of being hired.

While I’ve been focusing on women’s body image issues and discrimination, the Chris Christie situation drives home the fact that men too are being unfairly judged.

The fact that I’m defending Christie is shocking to me. Because frankly, I hate Christie and think his politics suck. But his crappy politics should be the issue, not his weight.

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